Bow all means!

Pipe down, conservative wackjobs. When I read that there was actually controversy of President Obama's bow to Japanese Emperor Akihito, I imagined Dick Cheney sitting on his toilet taking a dump, almost herniating over the news.

Since Obama's inauguration, conservatives have been in a delicate mourning of Democratic victory. They, of course, scrutinize every move Obama makes, which certainly is expected of any government official. Even still, respecting the custom of the country you're visiting could hardly be considered "groveling", as some reported.

Obama has recently been made an honorary citizen of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, in order to make amends with a historically crass relationship with Japan and deem America's status against nuclear warfare. His bow, to a son of a former Emperor during the atomic bombings of World War II, seemed only an appropriate gesture of appreciation for said citizenship.

In Japan, bowing is a customary greeting. When bowing to someone of higher status, it usually entails a longer, deeper bow to indicate respect. It is also common to express thanks, request for a favor or to apologize. It certainly isn't a sign of weakness to bow instead of giving a firm handshake--but the two together?

Perhaps the handshake alone is far too right-winged; a symbolic screw you and your customs. And the 90-degree bow is culturally appropriate and dignified, but with that hand shake gumming up the real significance of it's meaning, it just looks awkward and can't please either party. Nonetheless, conservatives wouldn't be satisfied unless Obama wore a mask portraying him as a white republican, so chances are he'll be online fodder for weeks regardless.